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 Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread

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Jake_Ace
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:35 pm


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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Sun Jun 19, 2011 4:49 am

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KAuto26
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Sun Jun 19, 2011 11:17 am

Fuck. I was in serious trouble and I knew it. Bella looked like sex as she walked off the plane and across the terminal to where I stood waiting. Normally this wouldn't be much of a problem at all. I'd take her in a bathroom, in my car, in the fucking lobby if they'd let me. The urgency that she stirred spilling out of me in a desperate need to consume her... but this time she had my entire family in tow. They had come to offer up their support in the final weeks of my doctorial dissertation and life in New York. The problem was that...well...no one actually knew that Bella and I had been fucking each other since high school.

Bella's mother and my mother had been best friends. Renee died seventeen years ago, leaving Bella in the hands of her means-well-but-not-so-capable father Charlie. Given Charlie's long and random hours as the Police Chief of the Podunk town we grew up in, Bella often found herself at my house as a kid. And then, as a teen, in my bed. It never stopped. We never tried to.

A slow smile spread across my face as they approached, and I couldn't stop the thoughts of me and Bella together in bed. My family mistakenly confused my huge smirk as a warm greeting, hugging me and slapping me on the back. I was incredibly glad to see them. My mother, father, little sister Alice, and big bro Emmett had all taken time out of their chaotic lives, along with Bella, to come and help me pack up and move myself back home. Honestly, they were a great family, and I knew that I was beyond fortunate to have them come to my aid. Unfortunately, it seemed that my dick was making other, less than PG, plans for the evening.

I tried to focus on the words my mother was saying, and the comedic commentary Emmett was yapping about, but my dick was twitching and my balls squeezed at the sight of Bella. She was always so fucking good at acting nonchalant around me, when it took me every morsel of my control to not ravage her on the spot.

Those fucking skin-tight, see-through lace leggings were certainly not helping my dick-twitching situation any. I knew she did that shit on purpose too, wearing things she knew would test my nearly non-existent restraint. She quirked her eyebrow as she spoke with Alice. She raked her fingers "innocently" through her long, mahogany hair, drawing my eyes to the movement and creating a burning need for those to be my fingers tangled and tugging on her locks. My eyes drifted down her entire body slowly, noticing every detail with precision and familiarity. When I got to the sliver of pale porcelain skin that peeked out from the gap between her tight, black concert tee and those damned leggings, my fingers twitched with the very real need to reach out and wrap them around her hips. To feel the smooth silk of her body pressed against mine.

And those fucking heels. God! Black with hot pink soles underneath – imported Italian Prada's, not Louboutin's like everyone always thought. I had no idea why I knew such trivial shit, and I was pretty sure I lost ten fucking points on the man-scale for knowing it. But with a sister like Alice, always yammering in my ear, it was just the kind of useless shit I picked up on. Whatever the reason, I didn't care what fucking brand they were, I wanted to use them as handlebars.

I'll take my ten points back, thank you.

Twitch.

The car ride back to my apartment was excruciating. With every laugh, movement or fucking breath my dick pulsed. It had been years since we had been with anyone but one another. Why the hell we didn't just properly out ourselves was beyond me. Although, if I was being honest, the secret sex game was kind of fun, in a really fucking hot sort of way.

Not ten minutes into arriving at my apartment and I had to excuse myself to my bedroom under the guise of changing for our evening out together. As I turned to walk away, I shot Bella a glance that told her under no certain terms was she to remain in the fucking living room, packing and laughing over photo albums.

My room, now!

Logically, there wasn't much we could do with my entire family two rooms away…but reasoning with a raging hard-on was vastly ineffective.

I had barely even opened the door to my ensuite before I heard her handlebar heels clicking lightly on the hardwood behind me. I spun around and found her standing in front of me, all heavy lidded and panting.

Fuck, baby, I haven't even touched you yet. I snickered with arrogance at her until my dick began to throb painfully in the increasingly tight confines of my jeans, reminding me that she had a very similar effect on me.

I knew it from the moment I first took her over ten years ago. She was heaven and hell all wrapped into one deliciously sweet package. I licked my lips just thinking about how sweet. Bella was going to be my undoing, of that I was certain.

As it was, she was standing inches from me. I could smell her – feel the familiar electricity rolling off of her and humming through me. The edge of the vanity behind me dug into my ass as I leaned back against it, staring into Bella's endless, dark eyes. With a practiced expertise, I read the lust, the longing, the need, and the urgency that swam around in them, mirroring all my own desires.

She reached up without saying a word and grabbed the back of my hair, driving me closer to her, feeling me against her. A needy moan slipped through her lips and vibrated over mine. My dick reacted. It was an iron fucking rod and I needed to find some form of release before I broke down into a pile of tears from the agony.

I spun around, grabbing her ass like I had wanted to do since I first saw her strut her shit down the airport terminal in those tight fucking pants, if you could even call them that. I squeezed the beautiful handful of flesh, and then rather unceremoniously, whipped her around and switched positions with her. Knowing we had minutes, if that, before someone wondered what we were doing, I bent her over the vanity in the bathroom and yanked down those goddamn leggings. Jamming my knee in between hers, I shoved her legs apart wide, causing her to gasp loudly. It was so fucking sexy.

I met her eyes in the reflection of the glass, widening mine in a silent reprimand despite enjoying the sound. She needed to shut the fuck up unless she thought outing us this way was a good fucking idea…which I kind of did not.

Despite the fact that my cock felt like it was going to rupture, I took a second to appreciate the woman bent over and sprawled out in front of me – so trusting, so understanding, and so needy – as I released my appreciative dick from its denim torture chamber. With one hand wrapped around myself and the other splayed out across Bella's breastbone, holding her in position, I teased her entrance a bit with the head of my cock. Fuck, she was so wet for me.

I do this to you, I narrowed my eyes at her in the reflection. She knew what I was thinking. She bit her bottom lip in response in a way that she knew drove me fucking insane with need. She lightly nodded her head and moaned a low, impatient whimper. I couldn't take the teasing anymore myself. I plunged into her without warning, holding her body firmly in place between me and the counter top.

I filled her, stretched her, felt her, and consumed her.

Fuck.

That initial moment of being sheathed entirely by Bella, that was a glimpse of heaven. The hell was to try and not blow my fucking load instantly. Not so easy. Bella was amazing. Being inside Bella…there were truly no words. Just sensations. Sensations with no descriptions. Fucking fantastic. Liquid warmth washed over me, delicious and addicting.

I slammed into her almost violently, pulling her toward me as she scampered her hands across the vanity, searching for something to anchor herself on. Ceramic soap dishes and toothbrush holders went scattering across the countertop and into the sink, clanking loudly. The burn inside my belly was building and swirling wildly as my balls begged to release. I leaned over her, pressing my chest against her back, wishing like hell there weren't so many goddamn barriers between us. I longed to feel the tingly fire that ignited over us when our bodies made direct contact. I groaned lowly in her ear, both from the thought and from how tight this new angle made her around me. I sucked at the sweet little spot behind her ear, needing her to come hard and quick before she walked away sorely disappointed – because whether or not she came, I was about to do.

All sorts of unintelligible mutterings left my mouth as I whispered in her ear, licking and nipping along her neck and shoulder, wishing I had access to more exposed skin – never relenting the continuous thrusting in and out of her. I was forced to slow my pace; it had been all of two minutes and I was going to come before her if I didn't. As much as I needed my own release, I loved this woman in ways that I at times struggled to acknowledge even to myself because the sheer depths of my emotions scared the shit out of me. I desperately wanted her to climax; she deserved it.

I raised the palm that was spread out on her chest and drug it across her collarbone and over her shoulder, knowing that like her touch on my skin, any contact elicited a fiery trail of intense sensation. I left my hand on her shoulder, my fingers wrapping lightly around the side of her neck, my thumb rubbing small, soft circles around the shell of her ear.

The slow pace really seemed to be working for her, but just as she was beginning to tighten around me beautifully, indicating that my own glorious release was impending... my sister's voice came from somewhere out in the main room.

"Bella? Are you okay? What was that noise? Where are you?" It was obvious Alice was poking her head in and out of all the rooms in the flat looking for Bella, her annoyance at not finding her evident in her tone. Our eyes locked in the mirror, my panting noises sounding alarmingly loud over the ensuing stillness in the room.

"Fuck," Bella muttered, shoving herself away from the countertop. My eyes grew impossibly wide in horror.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I whisper-yelled at her as she stood and straightened out her top, pulling it back down over her leggings. She smiled apologetically and whispered, "Later," before winking, turning, and dragging her little fingertips across the exposed skin of my lower back and ass as she left the room.

I actually had to sit down on the edge of the bathtub because my quivering fucking needy legs almost gave out on me. I was still holding my iron hard cock in the palm of my hand with my jeans in a puddle, tangled at my ankles. I stared baffled at the bathroom door after she closed it. My entire family was on the other side of the door. It was a very small apartment. I looked down at the cock in my hands... It is a very hard cock.

Well fuck; there was no way I could walk out there like that. Slowly, I began working my palm up and down over the shaft, still slick from being inside Bella. I wished it was her. I wondered idly if anyone would notice if I just stuck my head out the door and asked if I could borrow Bella for like...twelve fucking seconds.

Stroke up, slow stroke down.

Pants around my ankles and sweat beaded across my forehead... yeah, I'm sure that would go over nicely after all these years of hiding our extracurriculars.

Stroke, swirl, stroke.

I squeezed my eyes shut and thought about how tonight, after mom and dad had gone off to the luxury hotel they love to stay in while in town, and Al and Em crashed in my empty roommate's beds, Bella would sneak into my room. I made a mental note to demand that she bring those fucking heels.

Stroke up, swirl, shudder, down...

I moved my other hand to the base of my shaft, pinching and rubbing as the I made slow, continuous, burning passages up and down its length. I was killing myself. Panting and still fantasizing about having Bella spread eagle at the edge of my bed in those heels, with her legs in the air and my fingers wrapped tightly around the thin heel. I stroked a little harder, a little faster.

Or maybe, spread wide and naked, pressed against the huge picture window in my bedroom - still wearing the "fuckme" heels of course.

Harder, faster, swirl, pinch, up, down.

Fuck, I was even lifting my hips up off the hard cold edge of the bathtub to meet my palm greedily. I picked up the pace until I felt the first wave of release pump through me. I slowed down my movements until it was almost painful, milking myself for all I had.

I came violently, shooting hot streams all over my clenched fist, the bathtub, and on the jeans that still bound my ankles together as I muttered a long string of profanities way too loudly. I shuddered and continued to ride the last bit of the orgasm out as I opened my eyes, blinked stupidly, and held onto my now gloriously semi-limp dick.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Sun Jun 19, 2011 11:23 am

As the days passed and the nightmares ceased, time almost seemed to stand still. Elrond and Picard no longer resembled the parts of host and visitor they held upon first meeting but had become closer than friends and more. Their liaisons became more frequent during the day while either one tended to tasks, be it fixing the beacon or dealing with daily chores and decisions for Imladris. Amongst the working hours a respite was found to relax in each other’s comfort.

Before Picard realized it, he had been a resident in Imladris for nigh four weeks. The beacon no longer held the luster of escape but reminded him of duty and wearing a uniform. Picard loved his ship and crew and no one could deny that. Somehow his visit to this new world had changed him so much that he dreaded knowing how he would miss it. Or more appropriately, how he would miss Elrond.

They were taking their time in exploring the relationship between them despite knowing Picard’s timeframe was growing shorter by the day. Elrond knew that Picard did not take intimacy lightly and that he was cautious when opening himself so utterly to another. It was this respect and patience that Picard loved and brought him closer to the elf. Yet, Picard also knew that Elrond could never join him on the Enterprise and leave his duties and obligations behind. Those thoughts hindered him at times, wanting to hold back from developing deeper feelings for Elrond. Inside he hoped that they could still continue their affair with long distances and intermissions between them.

“Jean-Luc, you seem lost in your thoughts,” Elrond spoke suddenly, breaking Picard out of his thinking.

“I was but let’s not trouble ourselves with it now,” he said with a sigh.

Picard had been repairing the beacon that evening but while doing so, his mind wandered. Elrond, as usual, had been at his desk writing to the High King who resided in the Grey Havens.

“Perhaps it is best you take a reprieve until later,” the elf offered as he placed his hands on Picard’s shoulders. “The night air is still warm from the day, we can take a few minutes to enjoy it.”

“You are right,” Picard sighed. “I’ll leave it until morning.”

As Elrond led Picard to the door, the elf let his closeness be known with a light trace of his fingers over Picard’s back. Smiling to himself, the captain welcomed the little reminders of Elrond’s regard for him that seemed small, but were just as meaningful as his words and gaze.

“I was hoping you might leave tomorrow free from work,” Elrond said as they stepped outside.

“What have you planned for us?” Picard asked curiously.

“There is a place nearby to Imladris but it is rarely traveled to by others. I visit it as my own hide-away of sorts,” Elrond explained “I want to share it with you. We need some privacy from prying eyes for a day or two.”

“I had not noticed anyone watching us,” Picard said. “Or who knows of us.”

“That is the life of someone so public as I am to my people,” Elrond sighed as he looked up into the darkening sky where the first stars began to appear. “There has been talk about how often we are in each other’s company.”

“Gossip is not missed even here it seems,” Picard chuckled.

“Rumors do not bother me,” Elrond said as they passed over one of the bridges above the river. “Especially since they are true.”

Picard felt his cheeks warm with the red blush that came with hearing Elrond’s comments. So unafraid…

“I think getting away would be a good idea,” Picard concluded. “Considering this is supposed to be my shore leave, I welcome it gladly.”

“I have our needs in place for an early departure in the morn,” Elrond said. “We will break our fast then ride.”

“Sounds like a wonderful plan,” Picard said.

“You will love it as much as I do,” Elrond smiled. “Come now, I hear the others gathering for the fire.”

“I cannot believe the hall is nearly finished,” Picard commented as they walked. “The carpenters have certainly done grand work.”

“Thank you,” Elrond replied while absorbing the compliment. “I will make certain to pass your praise to them. I believe by the end of this week we will have it ready to congregate in for our nightly spells.”

“Now that is something I look forward to seeing,” Picard said as they came up to the growing group of elves. “Where are Glorfindel and Erestor tonight?”

Elrond sighed, “They will not be present this night. It was requested the story of Gondolin be told tonight.”

“Oh, I see,” Picard nodded, recognizing the city name from previous conversations.

“Let us listen,” Elrond said as he motioned for Picard to sit next to him on the outer edge of the circle.

* * * * *

Picard was quiet as the storytelling ended and remained so as he and Elrond headed to their rooms. The tale of life and death, the survival of elven-kind had been very poignant; though, it had taken him again into deep thought.

”Are you well?” Elrond asked once they were alone.

“Yes, I am thinking about the story,” Picard said. “How your people never give up despite what appears to be a constant threat to your way of life.”

“I had thought the tale too premature for telling, considering the all too recent destruction of Eregion,” Elrond related. “However, it seemed to give some hope to the survivors that they, too, can go on like those before them in Gondolin.”

“Healing of woes in that way is always a good first step,” Picard said.

“Yes, it is,” Elrond sighed. “There is much more to come still.”

“War may be on my own people’s doorstep,” Picard said. “It appears we may have no choice. The negotiations and diplomatic talks are fruitless since the leaders of the Dominion already have their minds made up.”

“An enemy bent on destruction and oppression cannot be easily turned,” Elrond said. “If at all. I only hope yours will have a quick victory for your side.”

“I do as well,” Picard said with a deep sigh. “However, it appears it may be longer than we had anticipated. The Dominion has soldiers like these orcs that roam your lands, created and manipulated for terrible purposes with no conscience or care for lives lost. It seems strange and foreign to me now after being here for so long.”

Elrond saw the clouded, faraway look in his love’s eyes and took his hand, gently squeezing it as they walked along. The gesture brought Picard back and a small smile passed over his lips.

“For now I should not worry too much,” Picard said finally.

“By focusing your attention elsewhere?” Elrond asked as they approached his room first.

“On other thoughts that do not bring sadness, yes,” Picard smiled.

“Would you care to come in for a while?” Elrond offered.

“I will,” Picard smiled.

Having never been in Elrond’s chambers before, Picard took a cursory glance around. It was similarly furnished like his own but with a four-poster bed and drapes hanging from above that seemingly veiled the bed inside. Elrond had left his balcony doors open to let air flow freely into the room and while he kindled the lights in the room, Picard found a place in the sitting area to wait.

“I was hoping we could talk for a time,” Elrond said when he finally settled next to Picard. “There have been many thoughts on your mind lately.”

“Indeed,” Picard sighed as he took Elrond’s hand in his own. “Tonight’s story did not relieve me of those thoughts either.”

“Jean-Luc, I see the worry in your eyes. Are you uncertain of where we shall go in the future?” the elf asked. “I have given you much time to become comfortable with me, but I want to know if we should discontinue or let it move forward?”

Squeezing Elrond’s hand, Picard moved closer to him and slipped an arm around his waist.

“I want to stay with you,” Picard said. “It is what decisions I have to make in the near future that trouble me.”

“That I have thought about as well and know that neither of us will ask or demand of the other to leave a former life,” Elrond replied while he placed a hand on Picard’s knee.

“I can visit as often as I can,” Picard answered while his voice dropped a bit. “This can still work.”

“We will,” Elrond whispered as he leaned his head against Picard’s. “There are other worries to come; however, we can face them when the time comes.”

Nodding in agreement, Picard placed a gentle kiss on Elrond’s mouth that the elf gladly returned. A murmur of enjoyment came from Elrond as the kiss deepened. Picard sighed in contentment when he felt the elf enclose him in his embrace. Their encounters often led down that path of lying in one another’s arms while blissfully becoming lost in the other’s caresses.

It was this fall into pleasure that Picard did not notice Elrond’s hand on his hip. The fingers tracing on his thigh were only met with muffled moans. However, Picard felt his breathing quicken once Elrond took a step into new territory. Fluttery lips pressed against Picard’s neck as Elrond tasted the soft skin. A deep breath and shudder passed through the captain the moment the elf found a sensitive place to exploit.

Smiling, Elrond returned to the spot that elicited a response and began to suckle and nip lightly with his teeth. A louder moan escaped Picard’s lips when he leaned into Elrond enticingly. Capturing their mouths together once more, they tasted the sweetness inside, tongues battling as the kisses became hungrier and more forceful.

It was when he was gently lowered onto his back that Picard opened his eyes to look upon Elrond. Above him stormy gray-blue eyes drank in the image of Picard below, eyes that did little to hide Elrond’s intentions. Further continuing their caressing, their breathing became heavier. Picard felt a rise inside of him while Elrond lay upon him, his weight covering the captain covetously. He had been the aggressive partner in the flings with Louis but Picard suddenly realized how much he had missed by not being a little submissive.

“Elrond,” Picard managed to say between breaths. “You do not… enjoy letting me go, do you?”

“Never,” the elf smiled before taking control once more.

Finding his wits, Picard eased back and began his own ministrations to please Elrond. His dark locks felt like strands of Tholian silk flowing between Picard’s fingers. Unexpectedly Elrond’s hands roved over Picard’s body, their dancing touches electrified Picard’s senses as Elrond wandered from Picard’s neck to his chest. A sharp intake of breath from the captain brought a pleased moan from Elrond as one of his wandering palms cupped underneath Picard’s backside.

The reaction was more shock than an intrusion to Picard. The boundaries they both had kept and occasionally ventured close to had been broken completely with the brazen move Elrond had made. Having received no act of disapproval or reprimand, Elrond went further by clutching Picard with his fingers, pulling at the fabric of his slacks to feel what was underneath.

Another shudder involuntarily racked Picard as Elrond pressed against him. The telltale bulge in the elf’s leggings stood out between them, especially with the weight it had against Picard’s thigh. The realization Picard had in knowing Elrond’s amount of enjoyment also increased his mind’s lustful meanderings. He did not pull away as the elf rocked against him, but rather let himself fall under the spell Elrond was conjuring around them. It was when Elrond pressed his groin against Picard’s quickly hardening length that the captain expressed fully his want to not stop through a loud moan.

“Let yourself be mine,” Elrond whispered huskily in his ear. “And I, yours.”

Picard’s hips arched toward the elf as Elrond’s hand skillfully unlaced the captain’s pants in seconds and skipped underneath. The first stroke brought incredible heat flashing through Picard’s body, fingertips lightly toying against the sensitive flesh before taking Picard’s arousal completely in a tight grasp. Crying out into Elrond’s mouth, his ecstasy muffled by more plundering kisses, Picard bit tantalizingly onto Elrond’s bottom lip as each stroke sent his mind reeling out of control.

Buttons quickly came undone as Elrond’s free hand removed Picard’s shirt. More fingers felt Picard’s heated skin over his stomach and chest, the healing hands that had once tended to his wounds now felt like tickling volts of pleasure in the same places. More kisses continued as Elrond’s lips headed down Picard’s neck and over his chest. An uncontrolled cry of Elrond’s name resounded in the room, bouncing off the walls as the elf smiled wickedly over his lover. Whimpered sounds that Picard hardly recognized as his own called upon Elrond to finish the task he had started, but he caught his breath as he watched the elf-lord disrobe on top of him.

Elrond’s rain-cloud gray eyes watched Picard unblinkingly as if keeping him in a frozen moment of time that the captain would not escape from easily. Elrond began by unwrapping his tunic, baring his torso in the dim torchlight. He still straddled the captain on the divan, letting his bulging length still rub against Picard’s.

The elf could see Picard’s gaze take his half-naked form in, learning his contours by sight that he had mapped over clothing before. As soon as the green irises dropped to below his waistline, Elrond moved over Picard’s body like a serpent and sharply nibbled at a peeked nipple. A hiss of pleasure slipped through Picard’s lips when Elrond whispered into his ear.

“Follow me to our bed, melethron,” he beckoned.

Our bed, Picard repeated in his mind. The words surprised him but it also hearkened to a budding love growing stronger.

Doing as he was bid, Picard rose after Elrond had relinquished his hold on him. Helping Picard remove the rest of his shirt, Elrond let his fingers wind over Picard’s hips while he backed him to the edge of the bed. Deft hands quickly removed the captain’s pants, leaving him bare to the bone before Elrond’s hungry eyes. Reaching with his own want, Picard unlaced his partner’s leggings, hands shaking slightly at knowing where their love play was headed.

The girth and prominence of Elrond’s shaft sparked a surprised inhale of awe from Picard. Pressing Picard onto the bed, Elrond climbed next to him as they lay facing each other on their sides. He felt himself come near to spending himself while Elrond guided his hand with his own to his length. Elrond began to move Picard’s hand over the tender skin, much as he had just done to Picard. The elf moaned and nuzzled his face into Picard’s neck once the captain began stroking him.

Their lips came together earnestly as they both gently fondled and teased each other with touch. A shared groan of contentment was met the moment their shafts came in contact. Slow strokes quickened while passion flared once more, a building intensity emanated between them as they moved together as one in pace and ferocity. The last thread of control broke as their mixed seed spilled over their hands.

Breathing soon slowed: foreheads pressed together as their energy subsided. A tender kiss, almost too chaste compared to the bantering play from before, carefully and gingerly was tasted. After what seemed like hours, Elrond took to helping Picard clean up as well as tending to himself. Finished and spent, Elrond pulled Picard’s body into the crook of his own. Picard could feel the heat of the elf’s body against his back and curled into the comfort and solace offered, taking Elrond’s hand in his.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Sun Jun 19, 2011 11:26 am


A gentle, fresh breeze tickled Picard’s bare chest and he snuggled further under the sheets covering the rest of his body. A contented sigh brought him out of his grogginess and the warm breath of another danced over his neck. Memories of the night before came to Picard finally as images of their tryst played in front of his eyes.

They had taken a new step in their relationship that brought more intimacy to their developing feelings. So far they had not taken the other fully, but Picard sensed that the next level would not be far off. Elrond’s veracity and drop of his often-shielded emotions had surprised Picard, but it had also flared his own desire for the elf.

Picard shifted in his place, feeling the closeness of Elrond behind him. The elf tightened his hold around Picard, his arm draped over the captain, clutching him. Soft kisses soon followed on his neck and up the back of his shoulder before Elrond’s lips returned and suckled his ear for a moment. A low moan emanated from Elrond as Picard turned to face him.

“Idh si,” Elrond murmured. “Im anírona garole.”

“What was that?” Picard asked.

Blinking, Elrond stared at Picard in confusion before realization dawned on the captain’s face. Holding up a finger to Elrond to wait a moment, Picard slipped from the bed and shuffled around in his disheveled clothing on the ground before he found his tiny communicator badge. He looked up to see Elrond eyeing him with a mischievous curl of his lips. The elf himself was pure beauty to Picard: the fine-toned muscles of a warrior covered Elrond’s bare torso and arms without a trace of hair covering him, but for that on his head and what lay beneath the sheet covering Elrond’s lower half.

“I had to retrieve this,” Picard explained as he climbed back into bed. “It is the only way we can understand each other. It has a translator in it.”

“So that is the trick. You will have to explain how it works to me sometime,” chuckled Elrond, eyeing the metal item. “I suppose that gives me more incentive to teach you my language even if there are other ways to communicate without the need for words.”

Picard caught his breath as Elrond traced a hand down his side, cupping his hip and pulling them together. The intensity of the night before renewed itself within Picard’s body and he groaned in response once he sensed how Elrond’s stiff length brushed against his own and brought it to life immediately. Picard’s breathing became erratic and he sought to be a more active player in this round between them than he had been the night before.

Elrond held Picard against him as they fed off the sensations of full skin contact. They pressed their mouths together in heated passion, tongues tasting and teasing. Elrond assumed the dominant role once more as he did the night before, but slowly had to surrender himself with a little effort to Picard’s ministrations by hand and his overwhelming kisses. His lover was keen to get him onto the bedding, pinned underneath the man’s athletic body. Elrond let him do so but with a little uncertainty mixed with curiosity to see where this might lead.

The answer to the elf’s inquisitiveness came once his lover took his shaft completely in his mouth. Elrond cut off a loud grunt that merged into a low moan as he felt his lover’s tongue tease his sensitive flesh. Hands soon found the tightening sac below Elrond’s rod and massaged it in succession with the suckling. Elrond arched his hips toward the man as Picard took him to the hilt.

“Please,” Elrond pleaded. “Jean-Luc, let me touch you.”

Picard did not let Elrond get another rational thought out once he found a sensitive place that sent Elrond’s mind spiraling. Throwing his head back, Elrond cried his lover’s name as he climaxed, feeling how Picard drank him dry.

“Now, you may,” Picard whispered huskily while he moved up Elrond’s torso to lie beside him.

Despite being out of breath still, Elrond quickly twisted Picard beneath him.

“I would and it is a tempting offer,” the elf whispered in his ear. “However, the morning is already growing late. We should be off on our trip soon before the day passes us by.”

Elrond drew Picard on top of him again, his arms enveloping the man in his embrace. The lovers exchanged shaky kisses between deep breaths as their racing hearts calmed. Picard wrapped his arms tightly around Elrond and lost himself in the soft, long locks of the elf’s hair.

Im meleth-le.

Picard sat up with a start and looked at Elrond cautiously.

“What is it, Jean-Luc?” he asked.

“I… it may have been nothing,” Picard said. “My mind may be playing tricks on me but I thought I heard your voice, yet you did not speak.”

Elrond’s face brightened considerably and his eyes shone with an inner sparkle.

“You could hear my thoughts?” Elrond smiled. “I knew it could be possible between Man and Elf… but I have wondered much about it; especially if it is possible for you to return your thoughts to me in return, rather than just my speaking to you directly. You heard me during your fever-dreams as well, although I do not think you understood at the time.”

“What…? How is that possible?” Picard asked uncertainly.

“Jean-Luc, elves have abilities that let them link minds. Often it can be with one to whom they have bonded intimately,” Elrond explained. “The strength of one’s ability is different for each elf, but with me, my Maiar lineage enables me to do much more.”

“Then you are a telepath to some degree?” Picard somewhat understood what his lover was trying to explain.

“Ah, but your term for it is so limiting,” Elrond said as he caressed Picard’s cheek. “Our bond is much more than that, Jean-Luc. Our souls mingle.”

“Oh,” Picard answered quietly.

The clear discontent on Picard’s face was missed by the ecstatic elf. Elrond quickly arose from the bed, donning a bed robe, still smiling at his partner. Picard held his breath for a moment as Elrond took his face into his hands.

“So long I wanted you to know my inner feelings and thoughts for you,” he said. “This is a great joy for us and will change everything between us. I cannot wait to share so much more with you. For now, we must be on our way. I will fetch us our morning meal and be back shortly, Jean-Luc.”

Picard was hardly able to form an answer before Elrond whisked away to gather their meal. Looking around the empty room, Picard sat silently when the soft click of the door seemed to echo through the room. Slowly he rose and headed into the bathing chamber. There he attempted to draw a bath, once he realized that his hands were shaking involuntarily. Clasping them together did little to stop the creeping fear in his mind and limbs.

“He meant no harm,” Picard whispered to himself. “I trust Elrond and I have nothing to be afraid of from him.”

A shudder racked his body and Picard tightly clutched the edge of the basin. Slipping himself into the warm water, Picard dripped it over his face, and then covered his eyes with his hands. The water did nothing to stop the cold chill he still felt

“It is no different from when Beverly and I were connected by those interrogation devices from Kespritt. A mind meld with a Vulcan… or even Deanna’s empathic abilities,” Picard said aloud, his voice muffled under his hands. Suddenly he realized that this talent of Elrond’s was much stronger than anything he had come across for some time. “This is ridiculous, I trust Elrond. I…”

Picard paused before the word reached his lips. The realization of his deepest thoughts that slipped out in his unguarded moment shook him to the core.

* * * * *

Silence reigned between them as Elrond and Picard rode into the forest highlands above Imladris. Around them the birds chirped and creatures rustled, the day was very much alive. Elrond eyed Picard out of the corner of his eye next to him. The captain kept his gaze straight ahead but looked sullen. Then his stare fell to Picard’s hands that he had let the elf hold earlier, but with a strange awkwardness.

What is it I have done to you that you are displeased by me now? Elrond thought to himself.

When Elrond had returned with their breakfast, he heard Picard readying himself in the bathing chamber. Expecting this, Elrond had stopped by Picard’s room to gather clothing that had not been packed away for their trip. However, when the captain came back to the room, he had distanced himself completely. Not wanting to upset him further, Elrond kept his more expressive caresses to himself.

Have I caused a breach between us, Jean-Luc? Did I drive you further than you were ready to go?

Hiding a saddened sigh, Elrond let their horses trod along. Elrond knew Picard certainly did not want to cancel their plans out of politeness so suddenly, thus their reason for still leaving the elven-city. Yet, Elrond wondered if their time away would worsen the situation.

The sounds of a river began to sift through the leaves and became louder against the forest noises. A dull roar soon accompanied the river and unexpectedly the tree line ended. Bathed in sunlight, they beheld a cascading waterfall of white foam and crystal-blue water falling into a clear pool below the craggy rock face. The peacefulness of the sight soothed Elrond’s soul somewhat and his heart skipped as he watched Picard’s reaction of awe while he took in the beauteous scene. He only hoped that it was a sign that Picard was moving out of his strange demeanor.

“Feel free to wander, I am going to set up our camp,” Elrond said as he dismounted.

The elf-lord did not need help, but deep down he would have enjoyed sharing the experience of the their trip more fully with Picard at his side. However, he knew at the moment that it would be best to give Picard time alone. Elrond watched how he wandered down to the water’s edge and kneeled next to the bank to let his hand feel the water. Elrond felt the need within him to take Picard in his arms, but he held it back as he led the horses away and began unpacking the tent equipment and food basket.

The summer weather had warmed considerably since Picard’s arrival and the heat was already becoming oppressive while the sun climbed higher in the sky. Elrond tossed aside his shirt while he set to work, pitching their tent in a shaded glen. Wanting to avoid more worrisome thoughts, the elf focused on his task and turned his back to where he last saw Picard near the pool at the base of the waterfall. Finishing, he faced the river only to find himself alone. Sighing, Elrond walked to the river’s edge and quenched his thirst. From his hands the crystal-clear water sparkled and fell to the river. It was cool to the touch and he suddenly desired refreshing himself in the soothing pool to wash away the hot work and sweat that made him feel sticky and uncomfortable. He had enough time until Picard returned.

* * * * *

The shade of the forest made Picard feel that he could get away from his worries and time appeared to stand still. The warmth of the day was not as strong while he hid under the canopy of birches and oak. The captain lay against the moss and grass floor, staring up toward patches of blue sky through the leaves of trees. His thoughts drifted back to another day many years in the past that he had long tried to forget. Shivers swiftly coursed through him despite the heat and humidity. Drowsily he relaxed and his eyes drooped, then closed.

The body beneath Picard strained and shuddered but continued to move with the rhythm of his hips. Messy blond hair was tossed back as Louis cried out his pleasure and Picard smiled with lust, thrusting into the withering form in his grasp. Picard ran his hand down Louis’ back, the sweat glistening on his body while well-toned muscles curved and flexed beneath his fingers. Moving his hand back to his lover’s hip, Picard dropped his other to underneath his partner’s torso and taking the hardened shaft in his palm.

“Faster, Jean,” cried Louis.

“You… always liked it… this way,” Picard said between breaths. “Perhaps… I should go slower. Torture you… beg me to finish it.”

“Whatever you want,” moaned Louis. “Your touch… I always want more. It is never finished.”

“So be it then,” Picard drawled, making his thrusts move together with his caresses of Louis’ length.

The groans of Louis’ climax reached Picard’s ears and he felt how the warm fluid trickled over his hand. Feeling the finish of his partner clench around his own shaft, Picard thrust deep within Louis and spilled his own seed. The young man beneath him shook from the sensations, clearly weakened from the exertion. With care, Picard withdrew from him and curled him against his chest.

Their breathing slowly returned to normal and the warm, lazy day was perfect for enjoying a day in bed relaxing and pleasuring; however, Picard could sense there was something heavy on Louis’ mind. It had been an anxious quiet between them and Picard knew Louis would voice his concern eventually, but he would not prod him if he was not ready.

“You leave in the morning?” Louis finally spoke.

“Yes, I told you before that the transport will be in town at oh-eight-hundred,” Picard said, snuggling into the pillow and trailing his hand over Louis’ arm. “Do not worry, we have this whole day to visit with each other. And, I must say, quench your thirst until I come back on leave.”

Picard chuckled to himself, but quieted when Louis turned over and stared at him seriously.

“When will that be? How often do you think you will come back home?” Louis asked. “Would you even consider inviting me to visit you at the Academy?”

“What is the matter, Louis?” Picard said, his brow furrowing. “It is not like I am leaving you for a long tour at the edges of Federation territory.”

“That is just it,” Louis sighed and caressed Picard’s cheek, then ran his fingers through the fine, brown hair that Picard had cut shorter for his impending days at Starfleet Academy. “When you get assigned to a ship and go off on adventures… what then? I would never ask you to not leave, this is your dream.”

Frowning, Picard replied, “But it seems you have a problem with the type of life I will be leading: away at outposts and exploring faraway sectors. If you have a problem with my departure and choice, then say it, Louis.”

“No, it is not that, Jean-Luc,” Louis said, his eyes searching Picard’s before he nuzzled against his chest. “I think I will miss you dreadfully. I fear our lengthy separation.”

“Come now, Louis. You are acting like a child,” Picard laughed nervously. “Our friendship is strong and we have had time apart before.”

“It has not been the same since…” Louis paused mid-sentence, but Picard knew what he was referring to: their intimacy. “I think our friendship is much different now.”

“Look,” Picard said, forcing Louis to look at him. “Life will be changing for both of us. Your studies and research projects in hydroponics are gathering a lot of attention in the field. You will be just as busy as myself in no time.”

“I do not want to forget about this,” Louis sighed wistfully.

“Brooding does not become you,” Picard said as he kissed his lover’s hair. “Boredom does not either. I would not mind if you found someone else to keep you busy. I know I probably will have to do the same.”

“Are you not listening to me?” Louis exclaimed suddenly. “I do not want that. I want us to be together.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Louis,” Picard grumbled. “This was all for fun, we both said it would not be anything else.”

“That’s changed,” the blond man said quietly. “I want to keep this.”

Picard’s frown deepened and he stood from the bed, pulling his clothing out of the pile on the floor.

“I think this time apart will help you clear your mind and rethink a few things,” Picard said, his back turned to Louis. “When I come back for the winter break, we can discuss it again.”

“Why are you doing this, Jean?” Louis said, his voice cracking.

“What? I am doing nothing,” Picard said while he pulled up his trousers and fixed the sleeves of his shirt. “You are the one who seems to be changing our friendship from what I am comfortable with at the moment. I think we both need time apart to reconsider our actions and past.”

Louis’ face fell and visibly paled in the sunlight cascading through the window. He did not move but obviously was fighting the chaotic tumble of emotions running through his mind.

“Please,” Louis asked. “Don’t do this now. Not when you leave tomorrow.”

“Good-bye, Louis,” Picard said, walking toward the door. “I will write to you or call soon.”

* * * * *

With quick gasp, Picard awoke and tried to control his rapid breathing. Looking around, he found himself in a green forest of another planet, not in France in Louis’ bedroom where his dream had taken him. He covered his face with his hands, shaking from the overwhelming emotions of memories past.

After Picard had returned from the Academy during the semester break, things had indeed changed between him and Louis. A rift was now between them, but Louis was content with the fact that Picard had no interest in letting their intimacy grow to love. During the time Picard had been away, Louis had become closer friends with the Bloom sisters, childhood friends of their youth. The four of them had decided to take a cycling trip together when Picard came to visit the following summer and, in a strange accident, Louis had broken his leg. One of the sisters, Picard could never remember which, had taken to caring for Louis during that time before he could be taken to a medical station. He ended up wedding her, then divorcing her and marrying the other sister. Picard and Louis’ bedroom escapades had ended, but they were still able to mend their friendship and were closer than ever, yet it was not ever again the same.

However, the dream reminded Picard of the jealousy and loss he had felt when he had realized his trespasses against Louis. His best friend had been truthful and open to Picard about how his feelings once it had changed and grown. Picard had thrown it back in his face and when he had sought to return to it, it had no longer been an option for Louis. That regret always lingered in Picard’s mind.

The worries and fright Picard had experienced earlier that morn after his lustful encounters with Elrond returned with full clarity. All he could think of was that history had afforded him another chance to not repeat itself. Standing quickly, Picard wandered out of the shaded glen in search of Elrond.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Sun Jun 19, 2011 11:32 am

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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:25 am

its quiet.........................too quiet pig
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:09 pm

Do you think Landon Cassill is fired for running 12th instead of 10th.

Do you think they will demand the car is put in the Hendrick museum.

Do you think it will go next to the Drafting Expert Mike Wallace's Daytona 500 car.

Do you think the car rusted out and collapsed from age even though it ran the 2007 500.

Do you think it will collapse from age before Bill Elliott does.

Do you think Bill Elliott will die at age 87 from injuries suffered after a qualifying accident in the Phoenix Racing #51.

Do you think he will have a heart attack from the terrifying speeds reached at Martinsville.

Do you think he and Terry Labonte will form a company specializing in wheel chair mounts for NASCAR's.

Do you think the 2013 Cup car will have a receiver hitch on the back to carry their Rascal scooters.

Do you think the 2013 Cup car will have provisions for a seeing eye dog seat.

Do you think it will have an AC adapter so Terry can blend his Metamucil while me makes laps.
he

Do you think it will have an oxygen bottle rack so Bill can breath and still lock teams in the show with his PCP.

Do you think it will have three ignition boxes, one to be used as a defibrillator.

Do you think Impact will make special helmets with built in hearing aids.

Do you think they will make driving suits with built in colostomy bags.

Do you think Hendrick will develop a HUD unit with built in bifocals for Bill to use.

Do you think Hendrick will develop a UV resistant windshield so Terry can race after cataract surgery.

Do you think NASCAR will allow automatic transmissions Terry won'
so Terry won't break his arm from osteoporosis.

Do you think LaJoie will build a special seat to accommodate an artificial hip.

Do you think Simpson will make special Velcro shoes to minimize bending.

Do you think they will make special gloves that dispense arthritis cream.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:38 pm

I am looking to purchase the skin (from females) that is in between the anus and the vagina. It's for chewing purposes. I highly savor the flavor.

I am surgically licensed to remove this and will pay accordingly.

~ - 1.0g = Approx $300
1.0g - 2.0g = Approx $450
2.0g - 3.0g = Approx $600

Average is usually 1.75g to 2.25g depending on the person.

The procedure is pain free (anesthetics) and can be done in office in under 2 hours. You receive payment before leaving.

I can remove either flaps of skin, as seen, or small folds of actual anus skin, either is fine. Contact me at the temporary email address given in the next post.

Serious inquiries only.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:27 pm

Do you think you need to get a life.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:20 pm

Do you think these are copypasteas.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:18 pm

What are these so called copypasteas?

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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:08 pm

I was born in Pennsylvania in 1983, around the Philly area. There's a shitload of sketchy people out there, let me tell you that. Like a lot of other philly residents I lived in a rowhouse, kinda shitty but good enough to get by.

My parents weren't particularly wealthy, but they did their best to raise me right and to have enough money to make sure I had a decent upbringing. They both worked two jobs to help pay for clothes and food and whatnot for me, and I went to public school to reduce education costs.

Here's where our story begins. One day when I was 13, I had just gotten out of school for the day and I was supposed to meet my friends at the rec center nearby to play a game of pickup basketball.

This wasn't anything uncommon, we would play a lot of basketball, most of my friends being black individuals.. Anyway, so when we were playing basketball these older kids, I'd estimate probably 2 or 3 years older than us, came on the court and just stood there, watching us play for a while.

I was a bit unnerved, but I figured maybe they were just bored and wanted to watch us play basketball. I didn't really think anything of it, I mean they looked kind of sketchy but to be honest, so does everyone in philly.

We continued our game, not really paying much attention to them, when out of the corner of my eye I saw the group (maybe 4 or 5 of them) started walking over towards us. I figured they wanted to play ball with us, so I turned and walked over to them to invite them to join our game.

I asked the group if they wanted to join us, maybe we could play a shirts vs skins game. One of them, who I surmise was the leader of the group, turned to his friends and laughed. I was a bit nervous, since they were older kids, but I kept my mouth shut and waited for an answer. The group leader grabbed the basketball out of my hands and passed it to a friend, who crossed the court with amazing speed and dunked the ball. Since we were all young and short at the time, we were all in awe of the older kid who just schooled us with his basketball skills.

We cheered and asked for the ball so that we could attempt to dunk as well, but he ignored us and passed the ball to another one of the older kids. They started playing their own game of basketball, completely ignoring us. This would be fine, I guess, if it wasn't our ball that they were using. I stopped their game and told them that we should be allowed to play since it was our ball. They ignored me and kept playing.

Not one to give up, I tapped one of them on the shoulder and told him to give us our ball back or else we would just take it and leave. He didn't respond either, and so when one of them went to take a shot, I slapped the ball out of his hands and grabbed it away from them.

This pissed off one of the older boys, so he walked up to me and asked me in an angry tone to give them their ball back. I told them that it was my ball and if they wouldn't let us play then we were just going to leave.

One of the older boys shoved me, telling me that if I wouldn't give him the ball back, he would beat me and my friends up. I figured that he was just talking big for his friends and that he was actually a chickenshit and wouldn't do anything. I told him no and I started to turn and walk away.



What happened next was sort of a blur. I got shoved hard from behind, and I fell to my hands and knees on the pavement. The boy grabbed me by my shirt and picked me up and punched me in the stomach. He was much older and bigger than me, so my feeble little punches didn't do much to stop him. My friends jumped in to try and pull him off of me, but his other friends pulled them off and started punching them as well.

We outnumbered them, but we were scrawny little 13 year olds who had never been in a fight before. We all took quite a beating, but we managed to fuck up a couple of the kids pretty bad by swarming on them. They left after sufficiently injuring us, maybe because we managed to hurt a couple of their own, but they told us they would fucking kill us if they ever saw us again, took our ball and left.

We were pretty badly beaten and bruised, me being the worst. We knew that if we went home we would get in a lot of trouble for our injuries, and for being in a fight, so we went to one of my friends house (his parents weren't home) and we tried to clean ourselves up the best that we could. There wasn't a lot we could do though, I still had a fucked up lip and scratches all over me, as did most of my friends.



I knew I was supposed to be home for supper, so I reluctantly left and headed for home. As I walked, I tried to devise a strategy for getting in the house and quickly retreating to my room so my parents wouldn't see me all cut up. I figured I would walk through the house quickly, tell them I wasn't feeling well and didn't want supper, and just go to my room. I thought the plan was pretty good, so when I got home I called out quickly that I was home and not feeling well, and started rushing it to my room. My mom, having not been in the kitchen as I assumed she would be, stepped out in front of me as I was running down the hall to my room. She saw me and had a shitfit.

Why are you all cut up, what happened, did you get in a fight, all that shit. I told her that some older kids had attacked us at the rec center when we were playing ball, but that we were all okay and that she shouldn't be worried. She was furious, making phone calls to mothers around the area, telling the police to be on the look out for street thugs (yeah, thanks mom, not like there aren't a billion of those to look for anyway) and she was livid all throughout dinner, chewing me out for being in a fight even though it wasn't really my fault, yelling at me and my dad, just having a fit.

The next day went about as normal for the most part, but when I came home from school, my mom was waiting for me (unexpected since she was usually at work at that time) and sat me down and told me that we needed to have a talk. She told me that she was concerned about me growing up in such a dangerous neighborhood, and that she was really scared about what might happen to me. I tried to convince her that the neighborhood was fine, and that she shouldn't be worried because I would be more careful. What she said next though, shocked me. She told me that she had thought it over for a long time, and finally made a decision.

She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:30 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:45 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:18 am

yo KAuto i got some serious troll ammunition, i dont think you're ready for it
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:10 am

I don't think he takes it up the ass like you do.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:15 am

i wish i could be as funny as fag boy stephen
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:45 am

volsdude14 wrote:
yo KAuto i got some serious troll ammunition, i dont think you're ready for it

Do you think I don't understand why you talk about it instead of just posting it.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:49 am

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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:12 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:17 am

As I was grunting, perched over the ivory ring and the water below, my mind wandered to the grunting I would likely do that night. Yes, I had a date with Linda Blemski, who was reputed to be looser than Rosanne Barr's pants on an ethiopian. I decided where I would take my dates depending on how likely I was to lay them; after all, why waste lobster on a girl who was gonna screw you anyway? It just didn't make any sense. Anyhow, let's just say that with Linda Blemski, I was very glad Jack in the Box was having its three tacos for ninety-nine cents deal.

Especially since I was constipated, and over time I had learned that nothing got things moving like a nice hot Jack in the Box taco. Wednesday afternoon, bam, suddenly the system had stopped running. Now, don't get me wrong, occasionally my stomach would get that familiar rumbling pressure, and I would run to the throne happily anticipating an eruption, but thus far I had only farted unsatisfactorily. I would push and push, trying desperately to dislodge whatever was in there, but it would not exit. It seemed to be biding its time, and as days pass, I started to wonder what exactly was in there. What sort of butt-monster had declared my anus its permanent home? I could only wait and wonder.

I was experiencing another failure, my brown anal starfish clenching and unclenching impotently, winking at the toiletwater below. The wave of depression at not being able to perform rushed over me, and I wiped my crack with shame. To look at that paper, white and lonely, without even a hint of brown, just a stray pube... it was almost too much for my heart to bear. I tossed it into the empty water, yanked up my Calvin Kleins, and trudged out.
I started to cheer up later, as I sat across from Linda's pudgy body at Jack in the Box and bit into my taco. Looking down at the folds of the tortilla, red with special sauce, I started to imagine how wet Linda must have been getting. She wasn't very pretty, but as the saying goes, pussies are universally beautiful. She listened patiently as I told her about myself, going on about frat parties I had gone to and especially good football games I had seen. She polished off her tacos like cookie monster eating a box of oreos, and soon I saw by her vacant look that it was time to head back to her room and start plowing the field, so to speak. She dumped our trays in the nearby receptacle, and we were out the door.

As we were walking back to her room, I felt a growl emanate deep from within my bowels. It filled me with foreboding; it seemed to be the growl of some dark beast. But I didn't feel any pressure, so I ignored it. I decided if anything was going to happen, it would surely wait until I had finished porking the woman.

We got back to her room, and I closed the door, offering to make Linda a drink. She didn't want one, so I drank two shots of tequila myself, one for me, one for her. At this point, I could tell she was hot to go; I could smell the dank stench of her sex permeating the room. It reminded me of the ocean, especially the way her fat oscillated like winter surf as she impatiently rubbed her legs together. I smiled, and walked over.
We started to kiss, her tongue sliding into my mouth and joyfully picking the stray taco bits out of my back molars. I yanked her shirt over her head, and with some effort, unsnapped her bra. Her massive boobs burst free into my hands like a pair of mushroom clouds. She was breathing heavily, and I tried to ignore the rank smell of her breath as I yanked down my pants and exposed my swollen power-prong of pleasure. I jabbed it impatiently into her belly button; she took the hint and dropped her skirt. She was wearing bright purple panties, which I quickly slid out of the way to expose her impatient cunt.

She was dripping like an overripe pimple, and making weird moaning noises. I decided it was time to feed her my meat. I aimed for the hole and jabbed with my dick. Damn, missed. I tried again. The second time, it slipped in with a slurp, and I started to bang away at her.

And then it came: a snarling shrieking moan emanating from the pit of my stomach. I froze, half in, half out. A strange rumbling was seething through my intestines, the waking movements of some slumbering giant. It was enough to put all thoughts of sex out of my mind. It was enough to make me quake in fear. And then it hit.

WHAM! I pulled out of her with a shriek, feeling something slam like a fist against the wall of my asshole. Something wanted out, and it wanted out now! As I pulled free of Linda, my mind kept thinking the same thought: the beast is awake. The beast is awake. A fart like a snarl ripped free from my anus, and I yelped. Quickly, I sprinted to the bathroom, ignoring Linda's protests. This was a shit that could not be denied.

I sprawled onto the toilet seat, happy that I had made it, and gratefully released the muscles of my sphincter, waiting for the monster to slide gracefully out. But this beast had no grace, and it was much to big to fit painlessly through my meager butthole. I tensed in pain as the thing rammed itself at my sphincter, smashing into it like a city bus out of control.
Foolish was I; I actually contemplated for a moment whether I should give birth to this unholy leviathan. As if I had a choice. With a wrench, the shit tore apart my asshole, forcing its head through. I shrieked; my hand dug into the toilet paper roll by my side, my knuckles white. My body twisted, and I buckled down, pushing with all my might, despite the pain. Distantly, I could hear the Carmina Burama playing, as I licked the sweat off my upper lip. All I had to do was push. All I COULD do was push. This monster would not be denied.

I began to think the thing would never emerge. It shoved its way out, bit by bit, clawing onto the dank hair of my crack in its efforts. Then, with one asshole-wrenching thrust, it was out. My butt cheeks were bathed in ice cold piss-water as it plunged into the pool below.

For a while, all I could do was breath heavily and thank god it was over. I tried to summon the bravery to look, to see this god of shits, but all I could do was tremble. I wasn't sure I was ready; I felt for sure I would turn to stone at the sight of the thing.

Finally, I pulled together the nerve to stand, turn, and look. My hands were pressed over my eyes, and it took every effort to peek through them, as a trembling moan of anguish emerged unbidden from my throat.

And then I saw it. It was...it was beautiful. A tear of happiness dripped from my eye as I beheld this shit miracle I had produced. Now I could hear Handel's Allelujah chorus running through my head. The flourescent light above the toilet bathed the
long brown Lord of Feces, and made it almost glow with a natural halo. It had to be close to a foot long, and at least an inch and a half in diameter. It rested in the toilet casually, king of its domain. As I beheld it, my mind flashed to the Sistine Chapel, except instead of God touching my hand, He was offering me this long, brown beauty. As if saying, you are my chosen one, and you have been blessed with the shit of God.

My tears of complete joy and contentment started to wane, and I bent down to take a closer look at the monolithic log. My eyes lingered on its strange texture; it seemed almost shiny and hard, probably due to the intense pressure of my intestines. I wanted to reach out and touch it, but at first I fought with my unworthiness. Surely, to touch it would strike me dead! But finally, my curiousity overcame my fear, and I ran my fingers across its sleek surface.

Rapture! It was as hard as I had expected, and my touch caused it to bob up and down on the surface. I took it in my hand and stroked it. It was strangely ridged, probably again due to the pressure of my intestines, and I was again impressed by how hard it was, solid and unyielding. I almost found it difficult to believe my bowels could have produced such an object of perfection. I considered whether I should prostrate myself before it and worship it.

And then I heard a voice. It was Linda. "Hey! What's taking you so long?" she oinked from somewhere outside. "Hurry up, honey! Linda's pussy is crying for you." Ah yes, I had forgotten about the woman outside. I looked at the floating pillar of power in the bowl with distress. I couldn't flush it, that just wouldn't be right. It would be almost sacriligeous. Yet what could I do with it? I doubted Linda would appreciate it. Why had I produced such a specimen? What was its mysterious purpose?

I thought of Linda, and it was then I knew. I wrapped my hand around the gargantuan stool, and hefted it. It lifted in one piece, and I raised it like a sceptre. A smile grew on my face as I thought of what was to come.
When I came out, Linda was lying spread-eagled on the couch, so I could see straight into her cunt. She leered sexily. I carefully hid the shit behind my back; she just wouldn't have understood.

"Hey, hon...been waiting for you!" she drooled. "Come on, baby...can't you see Linda is hot and willing?" She thrust her rancid slit towards me.
"Ok." I smiled. "But close your eyes first. That way you won't know when I'm entering you until I actually do." I knew she would do what I said. She was a crusty old whore, and I knew her like I knew my oldest pair of underwear.
"ooh! Kinky!" she belched happily. Her eyes slammed shut, and her hips twitched, waiting for my entrance. My fleshrod of fertility bulged in anticipation, but I had no intention of entering her. Instead, I brought forth the mighty shit, and touched its tip to her waiting, dripping hole.
"You ready?" I grinned. She nodded, starting to make her weird moaning noises. I slowly started to ease the length of shit into her cunt. She gasped.
"Wow! You're so...BIG!!!!" she gulped, starting to pant heavily. "I never knew you could get so big!"

"That was my surprise, baby. I went into the bathroom and smeared a shitload of enlarging cream on my dick." I laughed silently at my unintentional pun, and continued to push the long piece of shit into her cunt. I had to push it in inch by inch, as her hole wasn't used to such a long tool, and I did it clumsily, since obviously I couldn't go in by feel as I usually do. But she was too hot and turned on to notice.

"Ooh! Fuck me! Fuck me with that long, hard dick!" she howled. I complied, pumping the brown log in and out of her hole. As I did so, I noticed that the phallic poo was developing a slimy layer of crud mixed with her vaginal fluids on its surface. This just made it go in and out easier. As I pumped her with this dildo of dung, I started to bang her breasts back and forth with my spare fist. This really started to get her going, and I sensed she was started to approach orgasm. I really started to slam the shit into her cunt, and she started to make shrieking noises. Yep, wouldn't be long. As I pummeled her hole, I started to notice that the shit was starting to lose its consistency. It seemed to be getting a little softer, and was molding itself to her cunt.
However, I had no time to contemplate this, for Linda launched into a mighty orgasm, and started bouncing up and down on the couch like a basketball, screaming and screaming. I fought to keep the shit dildo pumping into her, trying to keep up with her sudden spasmatic movements. And then, abruptly, I found myself holding half a shit. The other half had broken off in her cunt.
She gasped as she came out of her orgasm. Her eyes still tightly closed, she sighed in contentment. "Keep your dick in me." she purred. "I want to feel you get soft inside me."

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll stay inside you as long as you want." I said, as I quietly tiptoed to the door. As I shut it behind me, I decided I probably wouldn't be dating Linda Blemski for awhile.
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PostSubject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread   Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:56 pm

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