Random Discussion Thread V

May the 4th be with you!

Oh wait... that ain't right...

Happy 4th guys! I second the thoughts of Emmmerson, too.

People have been sending me Happy 4th of July texts all day. O:

ROFL I have some freaking classic video clips from Jarrett, Jeremy, & I shooting fireworks today. I'll be posting some to youtube later.

Im sick of falling asleep while on TS. Thats always been one main thing I tried to avoid, and now thats 2-3 times this week its happened.

Prepare for another long post that doesn't neccesarily belong here or anywhere, but I will post regardless because I simply need to tell someone.

I'm fucked up real bad. I grew up not even knowing being gay was a thing. I didn't even know sex was a thing until about 7th grade. I grew up in a very sheltered life. I never had any friends outside of school. I was never in any activities or sports. I never found a talent, learned an instrument, or anything like that. No one at school liked me. I was annoying and nosy and I couldn't keep a secret. I somehow ended up with a group of 4 friends. The change to high school was the most difficult thing in the world for me. All of my friends drifted away. I was completely alone in a completely different place than I was, or where I wanted to be. I never wanted to be gay. Like I said, I didn't even know that was a thing. I grew up being taught that it was wrong. I still can't accept it myself. I can't personally feel happy with who I am. I know who I am, I just don't know how to feel about it.

I have severe emotional problems because of my inability to accept who I am. I have nothing I feel proud of. I have very few friends and no social graces whatsoever. I am nothing like anything I ever wanted to be. I know I need to be more confident in myself, and I need to forgive myself for my past, but it just isn't something I feel like I can force. It will take time for me to be okay being who I am.

My sheltered life gave me very few social opportunities. High school, and life in general, is hte complete opposite of how I grew up. I find it impossible to trust anyone when they say anything genuinely nice or friendly to me, because I have always been used to being taunted like that. I am so nervous when I meet people I act like an idiot. I either act so much like myself that I am annoying, clingy, and just unappealing, or I act too careful and fail to make any impression at all. A lot of my life has been shaped by not being able to trust anyone at all with what I actually need to talk about. There is currently 1 person I know in real life that knows I consider myself gay, and it is impossibly awkward to talk about it. I literally cannot even mention it out loud, I'm so ashamed of myself.

My family could never accept me the way I am. That's part of the reason my dad is divorcing my mom and moving out. He doesn't think my mom is Christian enough, and besides the fact that he is being an amazing hypocrite, I definitely am not either. He never cared about me anyways. We never did any father-son activities. Wenever had anything in common other than Nascar. He never cared if I was okay, or showed any interest in my life at all in these past 18 years.

Quote :

 Drivers will be lined up in the following order:
 Drivers inverted by season points that were in attendance at last THR race
event.
 Drivers who were given a TI the last race event.
 Drivers inverted by points who were absent from the previous event (excluding
rainout).
 Drivers with no points and new drivers.
 At sign in the Drivers’ Lounge Meeting Area these drivers will draw
chip for starting position of all drivers with no points and new drivers.
 Drivers who fail to sign in prior to 3:00 p.m. in the DRIVERS LOUNGE MEETING
ROOM.
 Drivers not in attendance at drivers’ safety meeting.
 Drivers not in attendance at MANDATORY on the TRACK Meet the Drivers.
 Drivers not in proper position on pit road (staging area) prior to cone being
placed.
 Driver changes after FINAL lineups are posted at the SS Motorsports tire shed.

Going by this, I should be starting on pole at Thunderhill.

Turned in my 1st application today
God I hope I get the job. Family Video. Within walking distance of my house, and the largest privately owned video rental store in the U.S.

Incoming bitch post.

Either I am WAY too fucking sensitive, or the few people that I surround myself with are fucking worthless assholes. I just want a fresh fucking start, clean from everything.

Shawn_82 wrote:

Incoming bitch post.

Either I am WAY too fucking sensitive, or the few people that I surround myself with are fucking worthless assholes. I just want a fresh fucking start, clean from everything.

Is your mind somehow linked with mine? Lol.

Turns off sound computer while gone. Sound computer doesn't turn back on when home.

Fucking great.

I just slept for like 11 hours, having a string of weird nightmares. First I was at some high school reunion thing and everyone had a beard and I was like WTF, then I got invited to my friends house (like I really did yesterday). His house was like transformed into a mini golf course. Suddenly I couldn't find my pants and someone who knew my friend came up and started making joke-threats about gay people. I left for some reason, presumably to find my pants, and he tried to kill me all over the place. I was walking down on the beach (which we don't have) and talking about how ML Motorsports was based right across the street and pointed to the shop.

Suddenly I was dreaming about a Nationwide race at...Kentucky? Not sure where. Seemed too round to be Kentucky. Either way, Danica won, and proceeded to do a series of strip teases on national television.

Then I was dreaming about my friend Brandon beign a vampire or some shit. I saw him sneakign around my neighborhood after dark. He wouldn't hang out with me after like 5pm. People started disappearing. So one day my dad and I were outside and we forgot about daylight savings time or some shit and it got dark and we had to run back inside. I was all worried about him getting caught and didn't notice him stick his hand in the door behind me as I shut it. I ran upstairs to my room, which is always indefinately more awesome in my dreams. It had a high celing, a sunk in section in the center with my tv and stuff, was just cool. I heard my dad scream and he came upstairs and I went outside to the hall to comit suicide and we had a conversation about him being a vampire. Then he bit me, or pretend bit me. He handed me a giant fake beard thing and told me to put it on. I was like WTF? Not sure. I don't remember anything after that.

Things are going well for me.. Went to the Recruiter.. Apparently, I can't get a Ranger contract because my GT score is a 109 (1 point off from where it needs to be). However, Airborne is still definitely an option. My mother is coming from Vernon to sign the consent form, and that will be it until I sign. My dad's already signed off on it, however, he still wants me to think on it a bit.

I've also started a workout routine.. Yesterday I did 40, 30, 20 of alternating push-ups and sit-ups along with 4 400 yard sprints. Today I've got the Pull-Up Ladder (1-6) for 3 rounds. And tomorrow, I have 40, 30, 20 again with 30/30s (30 seconds of sprinting, 30 seconds of walking) for 20 rounds.

Dice rolls? lol

server donations.. blah blah, end of next week, such and such

Dan, I'll be generous and donate some as soon as I finish my spending spree. Finally got some of my own money on PayPal. Watch me spend it all in the next 2 days, then find out the Steam sale is next week. Lulz.

Dan Mackay wrote:

server donations.. blah blah, end of next week, such and such

HAha nope!

Steam Sale is on, and their servers are so busy it keeps crashing on my way to the checkout, lol.

Been a little down today for some reason, not sure what it is... :/

My uncle went to Team USA's basketball practice I'm DC today. He's in the National
Guard so he was chosen to team up with James Harden in a skills competition. Freakin awesome.

Nascarfan13 wrote:

Dan Mackay wrote:

server donations.. blah blah, end of next week, such and such

HAha nope!

still need 15 bucks

I would be glad to donate, if only PayPal hadn't suspended my account after my 1st purchase. There is some new law that requires me to prove residency, give my photo ID and social security card. I did, and they didn't accept my social security card as a valid social security card. Okay.

I was going to be an active member here, then I got high.

Well you'll fit right in then with some of the members here... heh.

lemonhead75 wrote:

I would be glad to donate, if only PayPal hadn't suspended my account after my 1st purchase. There is some new law that requires me to prove residency, give my photo ID and social security card. I did, and they didn't accept my social security card as a valid social security card. Okay.

lolamerica

NASCARGearHead wrote:

Well you'll fit right in with me.. I love smoking weed.

What was that, Caleb?