Random Discussion Thread IV

Not beer.

bakes991 wrote:

Not beer.

Not joking btw

I haven't been. I've been drinking more lately but it's not because i'm down about her. It doesn't help, but neither has anything else i've been doing.

You just have to get her out of your head, it's tough, I'm sure, but once you clear you mind everything will get better.

As cliche as it sounds, you HAVE to move on. If it's truly over, it was probably not meant to be. Occupy yourself, spend your time doing something other than thinking about the past. How you do that, is entirely up to you. Actions speak louder than words.

Incomming rant.

I know what I have to do; I know I need to get her out of my head. I know our relationship is over. I know it's just high school and odds are it wasn't going to end in marriage or whatever. I know the only person stopping me from moving on, is me. I know alcohol won’t solve any problems. I know bitching about it won’t help either. I know sitting here typing this isn’t doing any good either. It’s been over a month, and for whatever reason I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t want to completely get rid of it because it was the time of my life. I was as happy as I’ve ever been and I never want to forget how I was and how she made me feel. I wanted her to know how I felt about her and I was going to find the perfect opportunity to tell her I loved her. I ask myself, did/do I love her? I feel like I did. I know years down the road if/when I meet that person I know I want to spend the rest of my life with I’ll know I love her. That’s not what this is about. I’m heartbroken, yes. I got too attached to someone and when they wanted out of my life I fell flat on my face as I am right now. I want to move on, but when stuff (stuff being her talking/texting me, or hearing about her from my friends or smelling her perfume places, among many others), it makes it hard for me to get over her and get her out of my head. I’ve been more to myself lately, it seems to help and I’m perfectly content being alone. Before I felt like I always wanted to be with people so I didn’t get looked at as a loner. Now I don’t give a shit. I'm perfectly content being by myself, it doesn’t bother me anymore. Again I’m getting off topic (if there even is one, and I'm sure everyone else has stopped reading, so if you are, thankyou very much) I may be rambling on and on, so I will start a new paragraph with what my post earier was all about

So Chloe’s friend Audrey was texting me, she said they hung out Friday and she talked to her about stuff. I asked her to stop sugar coating stuff and say what chloe actually said to her. This was the text I got.

“You’re not being a bitch Shawn. You’re heartbroken, love sucks sometimes. I think she’s equally as confused as you are. She said you’re making things complicated and you guys were never in a serious relationship (don’t quote me on that)”

…That really hurt, but it could be that one final thing that pushes me over, and helps me get over it. “I feel like I need all of this to get over her. I need more kicks to the ground to motivate me to get back on my feet” are my exact words I sent Audrey. I don’t know when that moment will be where I will finally get my shit tohetjer and move on from this depressed state, it really is doing nothing but hurting me. If you read this all, I really appreciate it. I feel like all of you guys here are my friends and I trust you with this stuff. We all have our problems, and it’s good to know you have my back in this.

Shawn, I think you're heading down the right path here. I know what this is like, I went through it myself when I was a junior. I fell flat on my face and just wanted to cry, get drunk, get high, just do anything to get her out of my mind. I'm not going to lie, it took a while to get her out of my mind, and time to time I think about her still. But you know what, it's just thoughts now, no emotions. I went through every emotion possible, anger, frustration, depression, happy, ect. What help me get through it is time and friends. Friends are the best thing in the world for getting crap out of your head. Honestly, make yourself do stuff. You might not really want to do it at first, but when you just go out with your buddies or go a date, it all helps. I know may think that was the happiest time of your life, but trust me, it's not. Honestly, I haven't been in a serious relationship since her, but I'm waiting on the one now. I'm not wait on that one special person right now, b/c you'll never know what you want and need until you date a couple of girls. So, long story short here, go hang out with friends, get back to stuff you used to do, and talk to other girls as hard as that sounds. I just hate seeing you like this, it kind of kills me a little bit. I miss you around buddy, no homo. Hope this helps you out, and you may not be religious or whatever, but I'm keeping you in my prayers bud!

I know the future has much more in store for me, but I still think it was the best time of my life. And as for friends yeah I know. I have a bunch of great friends who I can (and do) talk to about anything on a regular basis. They have basically all said the same things, time will heal it etc. I know it will too..but I don't feel like any progress has been made. I know I'm just some dumb teenager, and too young to be thinking about love and stuff like that, but it all felt so amazing and natural with her. I was constantly happy and wanted to make her feel special and let her know she was beautiful and all that sappy stuff that I loved doing, and then in the blink of an eye it jus disappeared I felt. All this bitching I'm doing isn't like me on my knees begging for her to take me back, it isn't me saying I'm going to kill myself, it isn't me looking to drink my life away, it's just heart ache. I miss her every day, and it's really hard to get her out of my head. Like I said its been a month and I don't feel like any progress has been made. I lack motivation, when I see her I get overwhelmed with emotions, and worst of all I have a really.short.temper. I've gone through not believing it, I've gone through bitching about it 24/7, and now I've tried to keep it to myself...and that isn't working too well. By trying to keep it bottled down its taking a lot of emotional energy, and I know I'm getting really philosophical here but it takes a toll on me, and when shit goes wrong (which happens a lot to me lmao) I have a harder time dealing with it and I literally just explode, fuck this that you me him her everything anything to put it simply. I want to be over this so I can get myself back to how I was. How I loved myself before. Sorry for the mass amount of rant. There's plenty more that I could bore you to death with lol.

I know I told you some stuff before on this Shawn, but one thing to add to you and everyone...Keeping things bottled up is rarely a good thing. Keeping bad feelings and thoughts inside can drive you mad. Its always good to get whatever it is out to atleast a couple of your friends. As I have come to realize lately..Your own mind can do worse things to yourself than pretty much anyone else can.

Been there, done that. It will get better. But it will take time. All you can do is keep living your life. Right now it feels like the world sucks and you just want to stop and get off, but you can't. Don't force yourself to get over her. When you do that, you just think about her more, and it gets worse. Eventually, you're gonna find someone new, and you're gonna look back and forget about what you ever saw in her. Just know that you have a future and things will get better.

trbfan wrote:

I know I told you some stuff before on this Shawn, but one thing to add to you and everyone...Keeping things bottled up is rarely a good thing. Keeping bad feelings and thoughts inside can drive you mad. Its always good to get whatever it is out to atleast a couple of your friends. As I have come to realize lately..Your own mind can do worse things to yourself than pretty much anyone else can.

Definitely this. Even posting on this little forum I would think could help, even a little. When you keep all your thoughts together and locked inside, it's just not good for the psyche.

"You never stop loving somebody, you just start loving somebody else."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DGau2iKURA

Me personally, I've never had "somebody". Sometimes it seems it's almost not worth the drama that it always seemed to create, in high school that is. I still wish there could be that one person I could share everything. maybe I'll find them sooner or later. Only time will tell.

I'm with sherm, I've never really gotten into a relationship yet and I'm hesitant to do it in high school, the drama is crazy. It makes me sad just reading your posts. your a good friend to us Shawn, most of us would be there for you if we all didn't live hundreds of miles away. It makes me sad to see you like this, I wish there was more I could do than just sending messages over the internet, It may seem like we don't care sometimes but we're always here for ya.

Ya know what I told ya before Shawn, takes a long time for some things to finally get off of your mind. Just gotta get through it and it'll eventually get better, whether that be in a month or six months from now. If you can find something that can at least half way replace her and get her off your mind, it's gonna help big time. Hopefully that next big chapter in your life will be sometime soon and you get to enjoy it for a lot longer. Try to stay positive man.

I really do miss you racing with us. It's not the same.

I agree with Jake, when you talk to someone online some of the time it just feels like you aren't doing enough or you can do more to help. Also, like Jake said...A lot of the time it makes me sad when I see some of my friends sad. I'm always been amazed at how I know people online better than I know anyone in real life. Sometimes I kinda wish everyone would be a little more open with everything, but I know many people aren't comfortable with that. I try to help a lot of people, maybe too many but I've gotten to know a lot of great people. You get to know theres more to people than you even see in the public Teamspeak rooms. I cant believe how much I have been helped by some people when I have been depressed, and I can get pretty depressed. I've tried to help a lot of people too, sometimes I guess I worry too much about others, but thats how I am. I like to get to know people on a personal level. I think the worst thing anyone can have is an anxiety issue...I know exactly what it feels like..Anxiety can screw up everything.

A bunch of things I want to cover.

First and most importantly, thank you all. I really appreciate reading all these. I wasn't expecting people to open up like this. I always knew you were all great friends, but it's really comforting knowing that there's a big group of people who have my back. I'm grateful for that, and I sometimes take it for granted or forget about it.

I know it will take time, but I'm just getting really frustrated and overwhelmed with all this stuff. It's a huge load on me and I'm not emotionally tough enough to deal with all of it at once. But hey, it will make me stronger for the future I guess.

As for not wanting to get involved because of the drama, yeah I get that, but you cant let that fear prevent something amazing from happening. I'm probably making this out to be a huge soap opera here, but in reality it's mostly just me that's causing all this drama.. If I could get over her then all would be back to normal and I'm sure Chloe and I would be back to talking and being friends (instead of her ignoring me like she kind of is now..) Normally your first impression on a girl or anyone is how they are. First impressions don't always mean first time talking, could be the vibe you pick up from them. If they seem like they attract or seek drama, then your gut is probably right. Drama is stupid, that's why you try not to get involved with people who cause it and try not to yourself (hurr should take my own advice). Yes it is just highschool, but I don't see that as a reason to not look for a relationship.

I really appreciate all the support here. It's why I love this place, we're a very tight close community. I know talking about it helps, and I have done that many times to people in real life, and it's good to get some more steam off here.

trbfan wrote:

I agree with Jake, when you talk to someone online some of the time it just feels like you aren't doing enough or you can do more to help. Also, like Jake said...A lot of the time it makes me sad when I see some of my friends sad. I'm always been amazed at how I know people online better than I know anyone in real life. Sometimes I kinda wish everyone would be a little more open with everything, but I know many people aren't comfortable with that. I try to help a lot of people, maybe too many but I've gotten to know a lot of great people. You get to know theres more to people than you even see in the public Teamspeak rooms. I cant believe how much I have been helped by some people when I have been depressed, and I can get pretty depressed. I've tried to help a lot of people too, sometimes I guess I worry too much about others, but thats how I am. I like to get to know people on a personal level. I think the worst thing anyone can have is an anxiety issue...I know exactly what it feels like..Anxiety can screw up everything.

I agree with every bit of this.
Shawn, just remember that every one of us wants to help you any way we can.

Now i have no idea why Brian posted that picture below me.

not gonna lie i chuckled

volsdude14 wrote:

LOL

What I said yesterday a out drama...I may be eating those words right as we speak. You've got to be fucking kidding me omfg...fucking great honestly. Just what I need.