Good Sam Hornish 500

IT'S RACE DAY IN LONG POND!!! BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY!!! GONNA PUT ON MY EMBROIDERED DIGGER JORTS AND MY NAPA CAP. LET'S GET SOME PRE-RACE COVERAGE PLEASE.

I like Wally Dallenbach's commentary a lot, actually, and I think Marty Snider does a good job, too. Chris Neville, provided he knows his stuff about NASCAR, is a good addition. The rest of the team is various levels of meh for me. I think the most important piece for any team is the play-by-play guy, and Mike Joy has to be NASCAR's best in that regard.

I hope shifting makes it so that there's more to talk about than the commentary, though. I think the racing was a lot better when they shifted, but that may just be my Taranto Syndrome kicking in making everything better in hindsight.

Also, is it still foggy? Greg Biffle can't see the air when it's foggy.

¡ME GUSTARÍA VER 40° INCLANCIÓN LATERAL EN EL CIRCUITO DE INDIANAPOLIS PORQUE JUANTOYA Y YO NOS ENCANTA LOS SPEEDBOWLS!

hopefully Juan Montoya can win at the Grand Prix of Long Pond, when he raced at the track in F1 he was very good

I think Carl Edwards will win because Marcos Ambrose will jump the curve in the final turn like two years ago. I think Michael Shumacker will have a good shot at the pole like last year, but Justin Bieber has been on a tear on the long straight lately.

YOU BETTER ENJOY THIS RACE BECAUSE IT IS THE LAST ONE EVER AT IOWA SPEEDWAY. WITH LUCAS OIL RACEWAY PARK AT INDIANAPOLIS RACEWAY PARK IN CLERMONT MAIMED BY BURTON SCHMIDT, AND NASHUA, NH SUSPENSED FROM HOSTING NASCAR, AND SIRKIT JILL'S BILLENOUGH DEPORTED, IT IS CERTAIN THAT THE DAYTONA MAFIA WILL MURDER THE IOWA RACES. THEY HAVE BEEN TOO SUCCESSFUL, AND NASCAR WILL PUNISH THEM FROM USING MICHAEL ANNETT AND RICKY STENHOUSE IN THEIR ADVERTISEMENTS, RATHER THAN CARL EDWARDS AND BRAD KESELOWSKI. NASCAR GETS WHAT NASCAR WANTS, AND THEY DON'T WANT A GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN LIKE MICHAEL MCDOWELL TO HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN. ROAD AMERICA, YOU'RE NEXT!

do you think the Craftings will sweep the weekend? Matt crafting has a good supertruck for the white mountains $1.25

I was reminiscing on past Grand Prix of Long Pond races and one memory comes to mind: when Jeremy Methfield put the bumper on the late great Dale Jarrett. Its a damn shame Methfield did that because it killed Jarretts momentum forever, if he had won, i tell you he would have had 2034 motherfucking wins.

Previous Winners
Denny Hamlin has won every running of the Good Sam Hornish 500 with the exclusion of 2001, when Bobby Labonte beat Dale Fittipaldi, Jr. in what was a legitimately exciting race.

Great Moments in the Last Seven Races
2004 - OMG BOBBY LABONTE IS GOING TO GET A TOP TEN OMG OMG OMG FUCKING VICKERS.

2005 - There might have been a pass for the lead at one point. Probably not. Was this the year they gave Mark Martin a retirement gift? I don't know.

2006 - Stephen Leicht. AND BOBBY LABONTE GOT A TOP TEN OKAY HE PITTED HIS CAR FUCKING SIDEWAYS ON THE FINAL STOP AND GOT A FUCKING TOP TEN PROBABLY COULD HAVE WON.

2007 - Surprise appearance by P.J. Jones. He does not disappoint, winning the race or something. I think Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart had drama. I don't know.

2008 - I think some drunken fat guy maimed himself on a fence. I saw Barney Hall and the rest of the MEARN Radio crew at my hotel.

2009 - Did I even go in 2009? Did Juantoya win?

2010 - Tobb Dobine get drunnked LOL ahahahhahaha.

Area Attractions
There are two Dollar General stores sustaining the town's economy. Visit them both. One of them sells Chinese Kellogg's Corn Flakes t-shirts. Buy one and show your support for "Texas" Terry "Bobby" Labonte.

There is a factory that makes soft pretzels.

There's a shady mall with three stores, two of which sell swords.

The combined fireworks/liquor store off the highway.

Chase Mattioli's old ARCA car is always on display at various hotels. Chase himself is not.

The most popular car in the area is the Pontiac Aztek. I Ethanol'd my pants when I discovered that.

Broadcast Info
Allen Bestwick returns to the booth for ESPN. He was exclusively responsible for a .4 increase in the rating from last year's Brickyard 400. Color commentators are Andy Peachtree and Glenn Jarrett. Colored commentators are Brad Daugherty. Tim Brewer will use his NASCAR coloring book to study technical terms. Nicole Briscoe colored her hair.

Rain
It will rain.

dont forget about Ellio T Sadler's blowover last year

ALMS starting now on ESPN3.com

Looks like theres rain coming..Awesome.

lmao..

For once, this ALMS race is pretty damn good.

Except for the ghetto pitstops :\

This is stupid. The ALMS officials are penalizing everybody. Stop and hold for 60 seconds? Come on.


Now they just penalized the Intersport.


Oryx Dyson just crashed.

Now the 2 BMWs just wrecked each other.

the ALMS just ruined this race.

And the saftey car just broke down under pacing.

pwnt

Its like boat racing at Mid-Ohio now.

WATTTTTTTTTT

EDWARDS = DURRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP hahahahahahaha

What the fuck hahahahah

ROFLMAO

LOL best finish of 2011. I've never seen an engine go off in the last stretch. Way to go Ricky.

Seemed to me that Carl was doing everything he could to not say anything bad about Stenhouse in that interivew lol. Seems like something you would do in a console game at the finish, but I probably would have done the same thing with the way Carl was driving.

durrrrrrrrrrp

That was fricken awesome! Glad Ricky won it over Carl... So glad Carl's not ruining the full schedule next year... Now we need Kyle to drop out of a majority of the races and give way to McDowell or Herring, would be cool to see one of them get that 18 fulltime...